Shi Tiesheng is one of the most admirable writers in contemporary China. Facing a life full of illnesses, he still wrote: "Don't complain that life has given too many hardships, and don't complain that there are too many twists and turns in life. If the ocean lost the turbulence of giant waves, it would no longer possess its magnificence; if the desert lost the wild dance of flying sand, it would no longer command its grandeur; and if we only seek a smooth life journey that’s free from twists and turns, our life will lose the meaning and charm of existence and survival."
In the face of sufferings, Shi still reveals a tenacious will of steel, and continues to move forward with a positive and optimistic attitude. Agudo, a streamer on Haixiu Livestreaming, is also a hard-willed person like Shi.
Always Grateful to Family
For the time being, 19-year-old Aguduo's dream is to buy a residential property for her parents, so that they will no longer be troubled by not having a home of their own. Aguduo, who turns her parents' wishes into her own goals, is an extremely filial child, but few know that her childhood was shrouded in misfortune for a long time.
"Family of origin" is a hot topic that has been frequently debated in recent years. Across China’s online media platforms, we often see complaints from netizens of different age groups in different regions about their family of origin, which carry keywords like "estranged parents", "domestic violence" and "left-behind children". Unlike most netizens who complain about their family of origin, Aguduo always talks about her childhood experience in a very peaceful way, as if she were just a bystander in everything that happened in her childhood.
Born into a poor family in the countryside, Aguduo had to frequently migrant from one place to another. Her parents were busy making a living, and were quarreling almost every day. Agudo's father liked to play cards and games, and whenever he lost money or got frustrated in games, he would pick on Aguduo, who was just a bit noisy because she was still a child. Agudo remembers how her furious father threw a beer bottle at her and hit her with a steel pipe. Occasionally, after quarreling with her father, her mother also used her as a punching bag. And Aguduo’s grandmother, the only family member that cared about her, left her forever when she was in fifth grade.
Falling victim to domestic violence for a long time and hit hard by her grandmother's death, Aguduo suffered from depression when she was very young. Since primary school, she found that all her feelings of happiness, excitement and enthusiasm become dull and vague, and it was difficult for her to concentrate on reading and learning. So what others could easily learn became very difficult for her. When Aguduo told her parents about these, they thought she was just trying to find an excuse to avoid studying.
It was not until after high school that Aguduo's self-mutilation and more extreme thoughts drew the attention of the school doctor, who asked her parents to take her to the hospital for examination, and the family finally paid attention to Aguduo's severe depression. With guilt in their hearts, Aguduo’s parents took her for active treatment. Thanks to gradually eased family atmosphere and timely medical treatment, her condition started to improve.
Now recalling her childhood, Aguduo does has some regrets, but she doesn’t resent her parents. In her eyes, her parents were just a little grumpy, but since blood is thicker than water, they are still the harbor she can rely on, and the driving force for her to move forward.
Brilliant Enough to Be Admired
"Instead of blindly chasing butterflies, it is better to turn yourself into a beautiful flower, and the butterflies will come uninvited." Aguduo believes that if she wants to become a brilliant streamer, she must have outstanding qualities. Dancing is one unique talent, and she hopes that through dancing, she will gain more exposure and grow into a leading streamer of the platform.
Before becoming a streamer, Aguduo majored in kindergarten education, and among all her courses, dancing was her favorite. After becoming a streamer, Aguduo simply danced in her livestreaming session, whenever she didn’t know what to say to the audience. To her surprise, her dance becomes the "core talent" to attract new fans and retain old ones.
Behind her meticulously-choreographed dance performances every day, Aguduo devotes extraordinary efforts.
Aguduo’s poor family environment when she was young, coupled with congenital heredity, has resulted in poor physical fitness, which was worsened by depression in her teenage years. “I have to spend two weeks in the hospital each month. Every time I go to the hospital, it is because of different illnesses, and none of my internal organs is functioning well.”
"Other people can always improve their physique through exercise when they feel weak. But I have to be careful even when working out. If I happen to be careless, my blood supply will be insufficient." When Aguduo talks about her physical condition, she is somehow ridiculing about herself.
But when livestreaming, Aguduo is always able to grit her teeth and insist on dancing for nearly an hour. She says: "Dancing can give me more exposure. As more and more viewers gather in my livestreaming session, it seems that I am closer to becoming a better streamer."
To allow herself to enjoy a better growth space under the tag of "Dance Master", Aguduo recently signed up for an advanced dancing class. Whether in the livestreaming session or in the dancing studio, Aguduo always sweats heavily, and sometimes even has symptoms like weakness and short-breath, but she is carrying on for her own future.
From the world where Aguduo grew up, we see only the torture of illness, but still, she exhibits optimism and hope. Her resilience and optimism help her move towards her desired goal, like a dazzling light that guides her in the dark night.
"The world kisses me with pain, but I want to repay it with a merry song." As Aguduo is a girl who refuses to admit defeat, she doesn’t care too much about the pain that the outside world inflicts on her. That’s because she wants to shine and prosper in a willful and exciting way.